8 Mental Health Tips for Surviving Postpartum I Wish I Knew as a First Time Mom
Postpartum mom and newborn baby
Going into pregnancy for the first time, I had only one distant friend who already had children of her own. Needless to say, I was practically clueless about what to expect postpartum when it came to my mental health. While I was able to mostly gather an understanding of how to help myself and baby physically, in regards to sleep, safety, baby led weaning, and even with developmental milestones (even if it took several 3am Google searches to find), I found basically no resources readily available about mental health during the postpartum time period.
Because I’m an intellectualizer by nature, my frustrations eventually led me to take several hours worth of Continuing Education courses on perinatal mental health. Even when I took enough hours to qualify for my PMH-C, I felt as though what I learned in all my training was mostly intellectual knowledge that didn’t offer a lot of practical help.
So here I am- extending out some what I’ve learned as both a perinatal mental health therapist and as a mom who struggled with her own mental health postpartum into this blog post. This post is for any soon-to-be, new, or curious mom looking for some quick pieces of advice and not necessarily a detailed list (maybe for another post). Mostly, this post is for the newly postpartum new mom me who really needed to know that I eventually made it out of the “black pit” alive, able to feel like herself again.
1. There’s no such thing as free childcare. You’ll pay for it financially, emotionally, or energetically.
2. A mom/expecting mom’s mental health should always be a major consideration when discussing medication options with a provider during the perinatal period.
3. Maternal well-being and life satisfaction continues to be one of the most important factors correlated with child self-regulation skills, prosocial behavior, and successful children in many different areas of life. If you’re not sure if you should get on medication, sleep train, be a SAHM or working mom— consider which choice would increase your well-being or life satisfaction most.
4. If nursing or pumping impacts your mental health or the relationship to your baby/other important people in your life for longer than just an adjustment period, the cons outweigh any positive benefits.
5. You are always allowed to change your mind. At any time. As many times as you need to.
6. There’s a mom friend out there for everyone. You don’t need to have it all together or know what you’re doing in order to be worthy of friendship and belonging.
7. If nothing else works, try a new sensory environment: go outside or get wet/take a bath.
8. You and your partner will experience challenges & difficult conversations the first 2-3 years after a baby. This doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. If done right, the challenges can actually bring you closer together than before.
Veteran moms- what would you add? New moms- what did I miss that you’d add to this list?
